4 Months Without You

Today is September 24th.
That means that today marks 4 months without you.

4 months.

Seems like such a long time but I know it's really not.

It's just been TOO long since I've seen you ( not pictures of you but YOU ), it's been too long since I've heard your voice, kissed your head, held your hand.

Words just don't do any justice when trying to explain the depth of this hurt.

The 24th always reminded me of Nicole. As she was born on Novemeber 24th.
Now it's a bittersweet date.

In fact, on Nicole's 20th birthday, you will be gone for 6 months. That's half a year !

Im really not looking forward to the holidays.
Im dreading them.
I get a sick feeling in my stomach when I think of them.

I know Im not alone in this.
I know the first of everything is hard.

Nothing is the same.
And Im not surprised.

Your presence was so strong, your absence maybe even stronger.

Please continue to guide me, to give me strength & to show your signs.
I need them Dad.
But I def need you more.

Happy 4 Months in Heaven. I hope you're having a ball
I love you more then words.
Forever