"Those" moments...

I miss you Dad.
So so much, it physically hurts.

I've had some of "those" moments.
The ones when something happens, good or bad & I want to call you.
The ones that are like a kick to the stomach. They can bring you to your knees.

I miss your voice.
I miss your advice.
I miss your daily calls.
I miss so many things about you Dad.
Things I never even thought of before you were gone.

I begin a bereavment group next week.
I have nothing to lose by going & seeing how it goes.
Maybe I'll find some comfort there, who knows.

The only thing I'm sure of is that this pain is not getting any easier to deal with.

Im trying to continue living as you would want me to do.
Im trying to be a better person as I now know all too well how quickly life can change. How quickly the people we love can be gone from our lives.

But Im also struggling. That is the truth. Not struggling like I did in the past. Thank God. Im just having a hard time without you. Im going through the motions as Im expected to do.
It's like living with a constant broken heart.
And it will never be whole again. Not until we are all reunited & we never have to say goodbye again.

Forever in heart Dad.