Monday, May 19, 2014

Desperatley trying to reach God

I'm not quite sure what to say.
This so called "journey" has been more like a horrible roller coster ride.

As expected, Dad is only getting worse.
Each & everyday everything becomes more difficult.

On Friday night, I sat down & wrote a letter to God.
I just don't know why he's allowing him to suffer so badly.
I don't understand a lot of this.
I don't understand how or why certain people do certain things.

I get that we all handle difficult situations differently.
I get that we ( his children) all have different relationships with him.

I am trying to remind myself that I am not responsible for anyone else or their behavior.
I know I have ALWAYS been close to my father & that should God take him today, I have no words left unspoken.

I just pray that his suffering ends soon.


On a somewhat happier note, I am so beyond grateful for the friends who have stood by me every step of the way.
Wether it be a face to face conversation, a simple text or just a hug.
I would be lost without you & you know who you are.
You're the same people who loved me through every other difficult time I faced.
You're the same people who believed in me & supported me when I needed it most.
You may be my "friends" but to me, you are my family & I love you.
Thank you for being such amazing human beings.
Thank you for being in my life.
I can only hope that you understand just how much you mean to me.

In closing on this post, I will say this.

God must think Im one strong woman but I'd like him to ease it up a bit.
I cannot take much more.

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