Suffering

My heart is hurting so badly.
My father is suffering & it is killing me to watch.
I prayed that he wouldn't suffer & he is.

I was there yesterday & he can barely walk.
He is pushing himself just to get to the bathroom.
He is a man of pride, he WILL push himself.
But it is obvious to see that this will not go on for much longer.

I left in tears.
I left praying to God that he will just take my father in his sleep.

I cannot believe I'm praying for God to take him.

That alone breaks me.
But I cannot ask God to keep him here in this condition.

It kills me to see him like this.
As much as I want Nicole to spend more time with him, I know she will not be able to handle seeing him like this.

Its amazing how as a situation changes so will our prayers.

Im praying for strength because God knows, Im going to need it.