In Memory Of Richard Kerzner & some other random thoughts.

On Friday, Febuary 21, 2014, a dear friend of mine's father lost his battle against cancer.
He had fought long & hard but sadly this disease takes way too many lives.
My heart breaks for my friend as she has already experienced so much loss in her life.
I admire her strength, I admire her ability to continue on, I admire her for so many different reasons.
So today, I ask that whoever reads this, to pray for her.
To keep her in your thoughts & to send loving caring thoughts her way.

My Dad goes back to the Dr today.

I saw him yesterday.
He is so much skinnier.
And all he talks about is how he's lived his life. And how he misses my Uncles.
Its very sad & very depressing.
I know this isn't about me but I can't help but leave with such a heavy heart.
I am struggling really bad & yet Im trying to act as if Im ok.
Im not ok.
Im fuckin terrified.
I am poweless in this situation & it really really sucks.

Lately I've been worrying about EVERYTHING & EVERYONE.
Did I hurt this ones feelings, did I not show up enough for this one, did I disappoint this person?
I can't do it anymore.
Im human.
I will make mistakes, I will let people down, I will fall short.
Just like the rest of us.

I suppose the ones who see past my faults, the ones who can understand that I'm going through the most difficult situation in my life, the ones who will love me anyway, will be there at the end of the day.
And if they aren't, I will be sad but I will have to carry on.

I cannot allow myself to be consumed with worry.
I've got enough on my plate to worry about.
I can no longer allow everyone else to add to that.

Praying for good news at the Dr today.
Please say a prayer

And in closing.
May Richard Kerzner finally rest in peace.
May his family know that he is no longer suffering & may God give each & everyone of them the strength to get through this.